Everyone always says, "You find out who your friends are" when something bad happens to you. Your true friends are the ones that are there for you when you hit rock bottom. They help you up, dust you off and help you get to where you need to be. They encourage you and help you bandage the wounds that you got on the way down. That's a true friend. I'd even say that's family.
I've often heard that you can count the people you can truly count on on one hand. As someone that always tries to see the best in people, I've always had a hard time believing this. But as I've gotten older, I've had to learn a few hard lessons. And one of those lessons is, sometimes people don't care about you as much as you think they do, regardless of what their relationship is to you.
But I've recently come to realize that isn't just when you hit rock bottom that people show their true selves. It also happens when you achieve success. Right now, I'm going through one of the most exciting times in my life. I'm expecting my first child and my husband and I couldn't possibly be any happier about it. Now, I've always thought that everyone viewed having a baby as a joyous, wonderful occasion but unfortunately, some people see it as a negative thing. And some of those people, I've recently discovered, are a part of my circle.
I thought that everyone would be happy for me when they found out that I was having a baby. And most people were. Some of my friends immediately went out and started buying onesies for me. Some sent me text messages every few days to see how I was feeling. Some asked for ultrasound pictures after every appointment. The amount of support that I received from those friends was heartwarming and I couldn't be more grateful for it.
But that wasn't the reaction that I got from everyone. Some people were jealous. Some people were resentful. Some were judgmental. And you know what I say to them? Thank you. Thank you for showing me who you really are. Thank you for showing me that you're not worth my time, so I won't waste any more of it on you.
I've wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember and now that it's finally happening for me, I feel like a dream is coming true. I feel on top of the world. I'll be celebrating my five year wedding anniversary this year. I recently graduated college. I'm currently pursuing my dream of being a published writer. And I'm starting the journey of parenthood with my perfect baby boy. By all accounts, I feel incredibly successful, more successful than I've ever felt in my entire life. So if someone can't support me in my success, then when can they support me?
I'm now questioning these people that I thought cared about me. If you're not supporting me when things are going well for me, does that mean that you're only in my life to watch me fall? Do you only support me as long as you're doing better than me? Where do I, and where did I, stand in your life? But you know what? I've wasted so much time and energy trying to understand your behavior and your thought processes. And I'm not doing it anymore. The only thing that is clear to me is that you aren't the person that I thought you were but I'll never let you fool me again.
One thing that will never change is how much I love my son. And trust me when I say, I don't need anybody in my life that's only going to drag me down. But I do need him. He is my life now. He is my everything, as it should be. And if anyone has a problem with him, then you have a problem with me.
So if you're one of the people that resents me for getting pregnant or refuses to acknowledge my son's existence, know that I'm releasing you. I'm releasing you from my life and my son's life. We have the support of our true friends, our parents and our siblings. We don't need any negativity or toxicity. And I will do whatever it takes to protect my son.
It breaks my heart that so many people in my life have become unrecognizable. I don't see who I used to see anymore. But I am grateful that I know the truth and I know who is really in my corner. So thank you to everyone that has supported me and stayed by my side. It means more to me than you'll ever realize to know that there are people that are excited to meet him and are ready to welcome him into the world with love. As for everyone else, all I can say is that you're missing out. My son is a miracle and a gift. You'll be the ones that are missing out on the chance to experience everything that he has to offer and you know what? I feel sorry for you. But now that I've seen your true colors, there is no going back. I can only look towards the future. And in my future, I see more children, marital bliss, priceless memories and more success. And I'm glad that my true friends and supporters will be around to see it.
-Chelsea
