When I was growing up, I lived in a bubble. I was completely naïve to how cruel the world can be and just how hard it can be to find people that will always truly be in your corner. It really hurt when the bubble popped because I was used to the protection that it provided me. Regardless, I'm glad that my parents raised me in a way that allowed me to feel safe, loved and protected, all while believing that's how the rest of the world lived too. Kids only believe in magic and that the impossible is possible for so long. And I know that I want my son to hold onto that innocence for as long as possible. I want my son to live in a world where people choose to be the best versions of themselves and honor both the memories and the qualities of the best people that they knew.
I've only lost one person, my grandmother. I was lucky enough not to know what loss felt like until I was an adult. Unfortunately, not only did I lose someone, I lost one of the most important people in my life. My grandmother and I had a very special relationship. She was one of my best friends and we were incredibly close. I spent many weekends at her house when I was a child, I visited her as often as I could and after I moved to New York, I called her at least twice a week. She was such a presence in my life and was truly one of the best people that I knew.
Whenever I talk to anyone about my grandmother, they always sing her praises. Nobody has a bad word to say about her. They describe her as loving, generous, selfless, warm, etc. Of course, I agree with all of them. She was the type of person that welcomed everyone, the kind of person that believed that you didn't have to be blood to be family. She saw the best in people, even when others couldn't. She believed in people and stuck to her convictions. She dressed up for every holiday and found joy in life's smallest moments. These qualities stick out in my mind and always remind me that she was the type of woman that came around once in a lifetime.
She was one of my role models and still is to this day. I miss her so much and think of her often. I wish more than anything that she could've lived to meet my son. I know that she would've loved him more than anything. Being a grandmother and great grandmother were some of her greatest joys. I know that my son would've loved her just as much. I'm going to do whatever I can to help keep her memory alive, so I'm going to do more than just tell my son stories about her. I'm going to try to live my life the way she did. I want to embody those qualities that I admired so much about her and teach him the lessons that she taught me about love, life and family.
She'll not only be one of my toughest losses. She'll always be one of my biggest blessings. I can only hope that I can make her proud of the woman that I've become. And I know that as long as my family members and I keep her alive in our hearts, as well as our actions, she'll never really be gone.
-Chelsea
