Being humiliated, embarrassed, taken advantage of and wronged
by other people gives us a lot of time for self-reflection. We think about how
we could've handled everything differently and how we should've seen the
warning signs. Or we think about how much we hate the people that did this to
us. But trust me, as tempting as it is, hating someone isn't worth your time or
energy. Life is too short to focus on the bad experiences that come into our
paths.
When I'm scrolling through social
media, I see a lot of posts saying things like, "I hate people" or
"I'm never leaving my house again because people are out there".
Seeing things like this dishearten me. Yes, there are bad people in the world
and some people will treat you poorly. But I can also promise you that those
same people can be you best teachers. And I speak from experience when I say
these things. It's unrealistic to think that you'll live a perfect life with
little conflict or trouble. But it's not unrealistic to learn from those
experiences and come out a stronger, more positive person.
I've had to learn the hard way that
forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person. The person that hurt you is
out there living their life, not thinking about you, while you're wallowing in
what they've done. It simply isn't worth it. I've had to work through a lot and
go through a lot of therapy to forgive the people that have deeply hurt me. But
it's been incredibly freeing and uplifting. Don't misunderstand me though,
forgiving someone doesn't mean that you think that what they did was okay; it
just means that you're not going to let their behavior hang over your head
every day, affecting your life. You deserve to be happy and to have that weight
lifted off your shoulders.
I used to be a very unforgiving
person and I held a lot of grudges. I didn't give second chances and I thought
the world was a dark place. But as I've gotten older, I've found so much light
and positivity in the world that most people don't see because they're not
looking for it. Life is hard for everyone, of course, but we don't need to make
it even harder on ourselves by holding onto grudges or negativity. We're not
born all-knowing or indestructible. We hurt, we bleed, we get embarrassed and
we suffer at the hands of others. But more importantly, we learn, we grow
stronger, we find happiness and we love. All of your problems won't fade away
simply by learning to forgive or love but harnessing those things will make it
so much easier for you to focus on living your best life and maximizing your
potential happiness.
We can't grow without discomfort or
pain. Our comfort zones can only protect us from so much. We can't control the
actions of others but we can control how we react. I'll be the first to admit
that learning to accept life's hardships or what was done to me by others
wasn't always done with grace. But it's something that I'm embracing and
working on every day. As cliché s it might sound, you never know how strong you
are until being strong is the only choice that you have. You'll be amazed by
the amount of strength and resilience that's inside of you once you've been
pushed. So...
To the friends that faded away once
I announced my pregnancy
To the people who've repeatedly
lied to my face
To the people who've taken
advantage of my generosity
To the people that made me feel
less than worthy
To the people that pretended to be
my friends
I'm grateful for you all. Without
you, I wouldn't have become the person that I am today. I wouldn't have shifted
my focus towards forgiveness and positivity. I wouldn't have learned just how
much I'm capable of. If I hadn't cried those tears or healed those scars, I
wouldn't have been able to see the beauty that comes from pain. I wouldn't have
pushed myself to become a better version of myself. So thank you. Thank you for
teaching me that I deserve better. I now know that and better yet, I forgive
you.
-Chelsea
