Memorial Day!

I´m sure that if you looked at your calendar today, you have probably noticed that today is Memorial Day! Today is a day that we set aside on our calendar to honor, respect and think about the people that have sacrificed so much or even their lives for their service to their country.

I have quite a few people in my family that have served in the military, so this holiday and ones like it, such as Veteran´s Day, have always warranted a lot of much-deserved respect from me and my other family members. This year, however, that respect is getting magnified. Off the top of my head, I can think of 5 people in my family that have served in the military. I´m sure that there are tons of others that I don´t even know about or remember. It´s always something that I´ve been very proud to say about my family, that I have military lineage. What more noble profession is there than to serve your country?

This year though, the tables have turned. Three of those 5 people that I mentioned earlier, I never even met. They were my great-uncles Don and Ron and my Grandpa Jack. They all passed away years before I was born. Still, I was proud to be a part of their lineage. The other people live very far away and I don´t see or hear from them very often. So, even though the respect and admiration has always been there for them, it´s been less personal because I never got to see their sacrifices first-hand.

If you have read any of my previous blog posts, you know that my husband is currently away at boot camp and will be gone for about another 10 weeks. For me, I still don´t think that the concept of him being in the military has completely sunk in yet. But with all of the love that has been given for the military on things like Facebook or on television commercials, it really started to sink into my brain. Although my husband being in the U.S. Army still is a foreign concept, I feel so much pride when I tell people about his sacrifices and what he is being put through.

Now, I am not only witnessing the sacrifices that someone in the armed forces has to go through and deal with, I am a part of them. I´m a small part but a part nonetheless. It really puts things into perspective. Anyone can say that joining the navy, the marines, the army or any military branch is hard and worth respecting; it´s another thing to see those sacrifices first-hand and deal with the heartache of waiting for your soldier to come home safely. Then and only then can you really understand.

So now I think about a day like this, Memorial Day, and realize that after he graduates and he really starts his army career, this holiday will be for people like him and his friends. I am not a religious woman but I am praying to the universe that no matter what he will be safe and not have to ever go into any sort of a war situation. That is the only thing that I can think of that I truly wouldn´t be able to handle.

But even though he hasn´t been through any sort of war situation yet, he still deserves all of the respect and support in the world for himself and for everyone else with him at boot camp right now. So despite what a lot of people think, it is not National Barbecue Day. I know that I feel as if I´m going through my own personal hell right now, so I can only imagine what every other military family whose sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, etc, must be feeling, knowing that their loved-ones are in places like Iraq and that they aren´t safe like my husband is.

I heard a saying earlier today that really spoke to me, ¨We are the home of the free because of the brave.¨ Remember the brave men and women who gave up their families, their home, their safety, their comfort and in so many cases, their lives, so that you could wake up every morning and go to work, the beach or Disneyland. It doesn´t matter how you choose to spend your time. Just know that a lot people sacrificed a lot so that you could enjoy each and every day of your life to the fullest potential. Remember that, because everyday life isn´t perfect but you are free because of the military´s sacrifices and they never asked for anything in return.

There is nothing that I want more right now than to have my husband home but he needs to do this and we will both have to sacrifice some more time apart so that he can serve his country. It still continues to be hard but hey... sounds like life to me.

Respect For Stay-At-Home Moms

                                  I can´t wait to be the same old Chelsea again. :)

If you have read my previous posts or you know me personally, you know that there was a time in my life, not very long ago, that I was basically a vegetable. I didn´t move much. There were some days that I never got out of my bed. It was a very dark time in my life. I was too depressed to get the will to do anything more than turn on the TV. I was very sick, couldn´t drive, couldn´t work, etc. I felt like a complete waste of space, which added to my clinical depression and worsened my condition.

Now I´m a pretty independent person and I hate when other people have to do things for me, especially when I think that I´m capable of doing them myself. So being confined in the four walls of my apartment and basically feeling trapped was the last thing on Earth that I ever wanted to do. I wanted to go out into the world and do things like everyone else, the things that I previously had taken for granted. I wanted to shop, to work, to go to the beach but on my own agenda. I didn´t want to wait until my parents or fiance could take me and I felt like a burden.

On top of everything else that I was feeling, I was constantly looked down upon because of all of the different things that I now couldn´t do. I would clean when I could convince myself to get up and actually do something. But there was always this constant pressure and feeling of guilt when I didn´t clean. I heard things from people all the time like, ´You were home all day. What did you even do?´ or ´You don´t do anything.´ Now that may not seem that bad and in retrospect, those comments are not as mean as they could be. But when you are struggling with the will to get out of bed every day and your bones are in extreme pain because of your illness, it isn´t as easy as people would think to get up and vacuum the house every day. That wasn´t what I wanted my life to be like.

Plus, I´m a slob. I could name a million and one faults about myself and the first one that I always name is my sloppiness. Most of the time, I don´t see the point in making such a big deal about doing certain chores. Take, for example, making my bed. I´m literally going to ruin that work later that same day, so what is the point? Or when company is coming over and my mom says to clean my room. Why? Are your friends going to be spending time in my room? I don´t see the point. Even though that trait has gotten better with age, it is still there. Part of it probably will always be there but that´s just part of who I am, I guess.

But as I was coming out of my funk and I was starting to cure myself, I started doing more housework on a more routine basis. I really started to think about stay-at-home moms and what their lives are like. I have so much respect for them now because they are so much stronger than me. I don´t know how they do what they do because I know that I couldn´t do it. There is so much pressure to get so many different things done and yet, you want to do some fun things for yourself as well. For example, do you want to go out and get your nails done or do you want to do that laundry that´s piling up in your clothes hamper? You have to make a choice. You try to achieve a balance but most people just assume that you live to clean or you spend all day picking up after everyone else. Those moms are not recognized nearly enough for everything that they do. 

I´m sure that some stay-at-home moms are more organized than others and some are more relaxed. That´s just normal and different people have different styles of doing the same things. But just the idea of living that life every day and doing it with a smile on their faces really puts it into perspective just how much that they really do for their families and deal with every day.

So many people think that being home all day is so cushy. Many people think the same thing about being put on bed rest. It sounds so wonderful but after a while, it just doesn´t feel like enough. I don´t mind doing things like cleaning or cooking every once in a while. But doing it every day is just emotionally draining and hard. You yearn to be a part of the world outside of the four walls of your house, to go somewhere other than your bedroom or living room.

Now that I´m doing better and I can drive and get a job, it feels like I can slowly start gaining my old life back. I´m in the process of trying to find a job but while I´m still looking, I´m still at home, holding down the fort. I still feel as if it is my responsibility to get the house straightened up before my mom gets home from work and I feel really bad if it isn´t clean. That pressure and guilt that I mentioned earlier, never went away. In fact, I spent most of my day cleaning the house before I wrote this.

My mom was a stay-at-home mom for a short while in my life and it was when I was very young. I don´t remember it that much. I do remember her telling me that it is a hard job and sometimes it´s thankless as well. Now, I can say that I partially understand it. I may have a husband but he´s away, so I don´t have to take care of him right now. I don´t have kids that I have to take to soccer practice or band recitals, so I know that I don´t understand what it truly means to be a stay-at-home mom.

 But I can now say that I completely respect them. It´s not that I didn´t respect them before, I just respect them even more now. But no matter where my journey takes me and how my future ends up, I´ll remember this experience and this newfound respect.

Heck, I may even end up a stay-at-home mom with 6 kids one day, who knows? But that´s the unexpected adventure and I look forward to its uncertainty. It may be scary, it may be hard but hey... sounds like life to me.