My Favorite Writing Tips

As someone that loves to write and whose dream it is to one day be a published writer, I've done my fair share of research on this topic. I've always loved to write and I can't remember a time in my life when I wasn't either writing or stuffing my nose in a book. I'm fascinated by the idea of telling a good story and having people respond to it in a positive way. I'd love to be able to write a book that someone loves so much that they can't put down. Of course, I'm no expert but I thought that it would be a good idea to compile a list of my favorite writing tips so that they could be shared with all of you. I incorporate these tips into my writing and I've found that they're very helpful. I hope that you find them helpful as well.

1. Make sure that if you are incorporating a villain into your story that they are present throughout the whole story. 

This doesn't mean that your villain needs to be physically present in various scenes interacting with your protagonist. However, the since the protagonist/hero of your story is going to spend the entire novel constantly working towards their goal, the villain should as well. Take Harry Potter for example. Even when Voldemort isn't fighting with Harry, he is still a huge part of the story. We know that he is always working towards getting stronger. Harry can feel his scar burning, further showing his connection to Voldemort and many times, he has dreams about Voldemort's actions. This allows Voldemort to be in the story without actually having to be with Harry.

2. Don't add more to the story than is necessary. 

Some writers want their word count to be higher, so they put in unnecessary scenes or dialogue. In other cases, some writers write unnecessary sequels to prolong their stories. The problem with this is that a good writer can tell their story simplistically and genuinely. If you are just adding extra things in, the readers are going to get that vibe and they won't enjoy it as much. They will know that those extra scenes or extra books were unnecessary and not coming from a genuine place. When a person reads your book, they are investing a lot of time with it. So when they read unnecessary scenes or sequels, it can upset them. I understand loving your characters and wanting to spend more time with them. But as writers, it is our responsibility to tell their stories to the best of our abilities, as efficiently and simplistically as possible.

3. Don't include unnecessary characters. 

This is kind of piggy-backing off of the last tip but this tip has been very important for me. I used to include characters in my stories that were just there because I thought that my protagonist needed more friends or siblings. But then I realized that they were just filler. Every character in your story should be necessary or fulfill some kind of purpose, even if their purpose is only to die. By that I mean, maybe your protagonist becomes depressed because of a loss or maybe an important character's death sparks a war. Either way, every character should be vital to the story, whether that person is comic relief, a love interest, an antagonist, etc.

If you're also an aspiring writer and would love to get some more tips, I have plenty more to share with you. So, if you enjoyed this, please let me know and I'll post more tips soon! Happy writing!

-Chelsea

A Change in Me

I've never been the type of person that ever felt comfortable or confident enough to stand up for myself. I was raised to respect others, especially my elders and at times, I took that lesson too far. I let people disrespect me and treat me like I didn't matter. But I respected them and told myself that I was taking the high road. But now that I'm getting older, I realize that there is a huge difference between giving someone else common courtesy and respect and letting someone else, tear me down.

The people that care about me, like my parents, my husband and my friends, always tell me that they want to see me stand up for myself and what I believe in. It hurts them to know that for my entire life, I've stayed silent about things that hurt me and didn't give myself the respect that I've given other people. And now I truly understand that respect is not given, it is earned.

And I've also recently learned that standing up for myself and saying my piece does not mean that I'm being disrespectful. A few days ago, I wrote a post called Please Stop Asking Me This where I told people to stop asking me if I was upset that the child that I'm carrying is a boy. Of course I'm not. I'm thrilled. But that doesn't stop people from asking. And I'll be honest, when I posted that blog, I assumed that some people would have a negative response to it. Normally, I try not to step on peoples' toes and I avoid writing about things that people could find upsetting. But this had to be said. If people believed that they had the right to ask me that (and the nerve, quite frankly) then I definitely had the right to tell them to stop.

And I did receive some negative responses. I got a few messages from people that implied that I was wrong for posting about it and that I was wrong for telling people to stop talking to me that way. And you know what? I disagree. A very important lesson that I had to learn the hard way was that people are going to treat me the way that I let them treat me. And guess what? I'm not going to let anyone talk to me that way and I'm sure as heck not going to let anyone say that my son is not good enough. That will never happen. So by me posting that blog, I was finally making a step forward and standing up for not only myself but for my son.

When my son is growing up, I will be his advocate. There will be times when he will be too young to make his voice heard or make sure that he isn't taken advantage of. And you know what? It'll be my job to be his voice until he can use his own. And that is a responsibility that I am more than willing to take. But learning to stand up for myself was the first step because if I can't stand up for myself, how can I stand up for him? Or how can I teach him to stand up for himself?

I've never wanted to be the type of person that would ruffle feathers or say anything that could potentially unsettle others. I thought that I was spreading the message of tolerance and compassion. But apparently what I was telling people was "I won't make you uncomfortable but you're allowed to make me uncomfortable". And one of the first times that I use my voice, in that post, people had negative responses. But I'm not going to apologize for standing up for myself or my son. So if anyone is holding out for that apology, (sorry, not sorry) but it's not going to happen.

Now that I'm pregnant, I see the world differently and my priorities have shifted. My husband and I are no longer the center of my universe. Everything I do and every choice I make is now about my unborn child. I realize everything that I'm going to have to protect my child from and I will not let people treat my child the way that I let myself be treated. Everything has changed.

There is a scene in Broadway's Beauty and the Beast where Belle tells her father that she's changed. She said it was "no change of heart, a change in me". And I never really thought about what that meant but I think now I understand it. At my core, I am still the same person and I still have the same morals and values that I've always had. But there has been a change in me, one that I'm really proud of. I'm no longer going to let people hurt me or affect me. I'm going to use my voice, for myself and my son. I'm never going to let anyone ever make me feel bad for what I feel or what I think. I'm still going to be myself but I'm going to stop being afraid of speaking up. So, in the words of Belle, there's "no change of heart, a change in me". I'm so glad that I finally made it and I'm so much stronger now because of it.

-Chelsea

Life Lesson #2

I've always been the type of person that tries to see the good in people, no matter what. If someone only showed me their negative traits, I would try really hard to find some positive ones. I refused to believe that they weren't more than what they were showing me. I believed this so hard that even if someone proved to me over and over again that they weren't good for me, that I would still give them more chances. I didn't like giving up on people. But I had to learn the hard way that sometimes, you have to take people at their word and realize that not every relationship that you have with someone is healthy.

Life Lesson #2: When someone shows you who they truly are, you gotta believe them. 

During my senior year of high school, someone new came into my life. We had a class or two together and I'd never met her before. But once she met me, she clung to me. It all happened so fast. One minute, I was just a classmate. The next minute, she was asking me to be her college roommate because we both wanted to attend the same college. Honestly, this freaked me out a bit but I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I'd just met her. I didn't want to pass judgment too quickly.

Not long after this, I discovered that many of my friends, and one in particular, absolutely hated this girl. They warned me to stay away from her and told me that she was a snake. At first, I just brushed it off. I barely knew the girl and had no intention of spending any time with her anyway. But this girl learned where I hung out and eventually made her way into my life. She wasn't my favorite person but I found myself constantly justifying her behavior or words. I convinced myself that even though she was pushy, clingy, bossy, judgmental and full of herself that she was a good person. I ignored all of my gut feelings.

I didn't have the guts to tell her that I didn't like her and didn't want to be her friend, so I just put up with it. She eventually came to think that we were best friends, even though I didn't feel the same way. My friends were angry that I was spending so much time with her and trying to force a friendship that I knew couldn't last. But I so desperately wanted to believe she was a better person than she was.

But a hard dose of reality hit me when I told her that I couldn't hang out with her one day because I wanted to be with my boyfriend and she turned on me. After that, I was given the cold shoulder and things got out of hand. She threatened my sister, talked badly about me in front of my mother, started spreading lies about me around the school. It got so out of hand that her boyfriend, who was my boyfriend's friend, didn't want to hang out with us anymore because he didn't want to be in the middle of it. So I learned that I should've heeded the warning signs. I should've walked away when I had the chance. It would've saved me a lot of wasted time and heartache.

But she never hid who she was. She was upfront and honest about that from the beginning. I let her mistreat me. I let her cause tension between me and my friends. I let her take my time away when I didn't want her to. All because I didn't listen when she told me who she was. We haven't spoken in years and we've both moved on with our lives. And it's all for the best. As much as I didn't enjoy this experience, I can't say that I fully regret it because it taught me a valuable lesson. I won't make that mistake again.

So please don't get pulled in like I did. Don't convince yourself that someone isn't who they say they are. If I had listened, things would've turned out a lot differently. But, all the same, I'm glad that I learned that lesson early in my life. It would've made things much more difficult had I learned it at a later point. All I can say is that now that I've learned it, it's a lesson that I hold onto. The only thing that I try to focus on now is knowing who I am and being true to that. People are complicated but that doesn't mean that they hide their true selves. Their true selves are out there in the open. We just have to open our eyes and let ourselves see them. Trust me, it'll help you a lot in the long run.

-Chelsea

Life Lesson #1

In my last post, I discussed 24 life lessons that I've learned in my 24 years. I thought that it might be interesting to walk down memory lane and discuss how I learned those lessons. 

Life Lesson #1: No matter how hard you try, not everyone is going to like you. 

I grew up with a lot more insecurities than I'd like to admit. I was constantly fighting an internal battle. I wanted everyone to like me so badly that it ate at me when they didn't. That's not to say that a lot of people didn't like me. Looking back, I realize that the problem was much bigger in my head than it was in reality. But after a while, I realized that I was constantly jumping through hoops trying to make me people like me, no matter what. I was wasting precious energy trying to force relationships that weren't going to happen and didn't need to happen. I was searching for the approval of others when I should have been focusing on self-love and self-care. 

I always thought that the world was black and white and that everything about it was crystal clear. When I realized that wasn't true, it shook my reality quite a bit. I realized that things weren't so cut and dry and that things aren't always what they appear to be. I thought that if people didn't like me, it meant that I was a bad person or that I didn't fit in. But that wasn't true. 

I had to learn that the world is full of a variety of different people and personalities. And sometimes, of course, those personalities can clash. Not everyone is meant to have chemistry or relationships with everyone. And that's perfectly fine. My self worth shouldn't have been tied to how many friends I had or how many people I thought liked me. It didn't matter anyway. I was bending over backwards trying to get people I didn't like to like me, just because I thought that's what I needed. But their approval wasn't going to fill that void or emptiness that I was trying to fill. That could only be filled by me and my own self love and approval. 

It saddens me when I look back on my life and realize how much time and energy I wasted by trying to get other people to like me. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. The people that do matter are my friends, my family and myself. They are the only people that I need to concern myself with. Relationships can't be forced and at the end of the day, nobody can give you the peace or happiness that you can give yourself. Life is hard enough without you trying to make it even harder. So spend your time and energy focusing on what really matters and everything else will fall into place. You can't control the thoughts, feelings or opinions of others. But you can control how you spend your time. Use it wisely. 

-Chelsea