Life Lesson #1

In my last post, I discussed 24 life lessons that I've learned in my 24 years. I thought that it might be interesting to walk down memory lane and discuss how I learned those lessons. 

Life Lesson #1: No matter how hard you try, not everyone is going to like you. 

I grew up with a lot more insecurities than I'd like to admit. I was constantly fighting an internal battle. I wanted everyone to like me so badly that it ate at me when they didn't. That's not to say that a lot of people didn't like me. Looking back, I realize that the problem was much bigger in my head than it was in reality. But after a while, I realized that I was constantly jumping through hoops trying to make me people like me, no matter what. I was wasting precious energy trying to force relationships that weren't going to happen and didn't need to happen. I was searching for the approval of others when I should have been focusing on self-love and self-care. 

I always thought that the world was black and white and that everything about it was crystal clear. When I realized that wasn't true, it shook my reality quite a bit. I realized that things weren't so cut and dry and that things aren't always what they appear to be. I thought that if people didn't like me, it meant that I was a bad person or that I didn't fit in. But that wasn't true. 

I had to learn that the world is full of a variety of different people and personalities. And sometimes, of course, those personalities can clash. Not everyone is meant to have chemistry or relationships with everyone. And that's perfectly fine. My self worth shouldn't have been tied to how many friends I had or how many people I thought liked me. It didn't matter anyway. I was bending over backwards trying to get people I didn't like to like me, just because I thought that's what I needed. But their approval wasn't going to fill that void or emptiness that I was trying to fill. That could only be filled by me and my own self love and approval. 

It saddens me when I look back on my life and realize how much time and energy I wasted by trying to get other people to like me. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. The people that do matter are my friends, my family and myself. They are the only people that I need to concern myself with. Relationships can't be forced and at the end of the day, nobody can give you the peace or happiness that you can give yourself. Life is hard enough without you trying to make it even harder. So spend your time and energy focusing on what really matters and everything else will fall into place. You can't control the thoughts, feelings or opinions of others. But you can control how you spend your time. Use it wisely. 

-Chelsea