When is enough, enough?

Have you ever had any sort of relationship with somebody, whether it be friendship or a romantic relationship, where you felt like you always had the same arguments over and over? Like no matter what you did or said you could never get through to them? They just hurt you over and over again, claiming that they'll change, they'll get better but they never do? You love and care about them but you also want to protect yourself from repeatedly getting hurt or being with someone who doesn't care about you enough to make an effort to change in a positive way.

So when is enough finally enough? When do you throw in the towel and walk away from that person?

I'm currently struggling with this right now. I care more about this person than they care about me. If you ask them about that, they'll deny it but actions speak louder than words. They keep hurting me and I find myself longing to get away. But another part of me doesn't want to give up on them. I know that you can't change people and I don't want to change this person. However, I do want to stop the destructive behavior.

I know that people make mistakes and sometimes they make the same mistake twice. But after the 10th time they make that same "mistake" are you supposed to just keep forgiving them? Or the 15th time? Or the 20th? When is it the right time to just say, "Listen, we tried but you're just no good for me"?

I really don't want to lose this person because I know that deep down they are good and that they're not intentionally hurting me. But they don't learn from what they've done wrong and how they've acted. So how long am I supposed to just be the bigger person and pick up the pieces of my heart that they've broken again and again?

I really just don't know how to handle this. I've never felt so lost before. This person is very close to me and has been for years. But if their relationship hurts me more than it helps me, is it worth it? Do I walk away and try to help myself, or do I stay and try to help them?

I'm still not sure.

-Chelsea

Broken Relationships

As long as I'm being nostalgic, I'll post an old football photo of me. :)

Today my family and I were looking through old photos and I came across a photo of me with an old friend. Of course, I felt nostalgia right away. I loved how happy I looked with them and I instantly yearned for that time when we actually spoke to each other, when we were inseparable.

Needless to say, we had a falling out and I regret that. We've tried to mend the broken bonds of our past friendship but have come to realize that no matter what we do, we just can't seem to get past all of the hurt. The fact that I don't speak to this person anymore really breaks my heart because they were such a huge part of my life. But I have learned that it doesn't do me any good to dwell on things that aren't meant to be. Simply put, we were part of the other person's life for as long as we were meant to be and we moved on. However sad that may be, I am truly blessed to have the memories that I have with this person. I never regretted our friendship for a minute and I never will.

This person is obviously not the only one that I've lost contact with. When I made the decision to go to a magnet school, I didn't see my other childhood friends as often either. It caused us all to drift apart and I don't talk to most of them, unfortunately. We have tried to meet up and go out too but our schedules normally conflict too much. Eventually, we came to realize that it's easier to just be Facebook friends.

The realization of just how many friends that I've lost contact with hit me really hard today. Don't get me wrong, I do have other friends, I just miss my old ones. I feel like they are different people now and I missed out on an important part in all of their lives, their journey from being pre-teens to adults. This was expected to happen but when I was going through it, I thought that I'd be different; I thought that I'd be the one that didn't let distance and time away get in the way of my friendships but it happened. I guess some things just aren't meant to be and people always find a way to move on. That's life, right?

I wouldn't trade my life or my friends for anything but I do want my friends to know just how much I miss them and even though we don't speak much anymore, I still care about them. I always will but I do live to embrace the new people and new experiences in my life. But it's still nice to look at those old pictures and remember the good times.

Sorry, guys. I try not to be too mushy but I just couldn't help it today.

Happy Tuesday!

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