When is enough, enough?

Have you ever had any sort of relationship with somebody, whether it be friendship or a romantic relationship, where you felt like you always had the same arguments over and over? Like no matter what you did or said you could never get through to them? They just hurt you over and over again, claiming that they'll change, they'll get better but they never do? You love and care about them but you also want to protect yourself from repeatedly getting hurt or being with someone who doesn't care about you enough to make an effort to change in a positive way.

So when is enough finally enough? When do you throw in the towel and walk away from that person?

I'm currently struggling with this right now. I care more about this person than they care about me. If you ask them about that, they'll deny it but actions speak louder than words. They keep hurting me and I find myself longing to get away. But another part of me doesn't want to give up on them. I know that you can't change people and I don't want to change this person. However, I do want to stop the destructive behavior.

I know that people make mistakes and sometimes they make the same mistake twice. But after the 10th time they make that same "mistake" are you supposed to just keep forgiving them? Or the 15th time? Or the 20th? When is it the right time to just say, "Listen, we tried but you're just no good for me"?

I really don't want to lose this person because I know that deep down they are good and that they're not intentionally hurting me. But they don't learn from what they've done wrong and how they've acted. So how long am I supposed to just be the bigger person and pick up the pieces of my heart that they've broken again and again?

I really just don't know how to handle this. I've never felt so lost before. This person is very close to me and has been for years. But if their relationship hurts me more than it helps me, is it worth it? Do I walk away and try to help myself, or do I stay and try to help them?

I'm still not sure.

-Chelsea