You Can't Go Home Again

I recently finished "Grimoire Girl" by Hilarie Burton Morgan. It's not something I would usually read but I picked it up in hopes of getting into the Halloween spirit. However, the book pleasantly surprised me in a different way and tugged on my heartstrings until the last page.

One of the themes is the old phrase, "You can't go home again". Burton Morgan detailed the bittersweet emotions that she feels when she remembers her most cherished childhood memories. She described how melancholy she felt when she realized that she'll never be able to share those experiences with her children, though she's grateful to have experienced them at all. To Burton Morgan, home is not just a physical place. It's a string of treasured memories that create what she refers to as "the cornerstone of magic". 

Listening to her describe her memories of her oddly decorated house and a dad with an affinity for ghost stories made me think of the special memories that I accumulated in my own childhood home. The memories are still so potent and fresh; I swear I feel like they just happened yesterday.

Right now, I can picture myself playing on my backyard jungle gym with callouses on my palms. I smell my dad's teriyaki chicken on the grill while my sister and I ride our scooters on our back patio listening to our outdoor speaker blast 107.9. My sister and I steal kidney beans out of my mom's chili pot when she isn't looking. Rocks crunch underneath my bike tires while I ride down our white dirt road. My family's laughter bounces off the wall of our above ground pool as the water splashes over the sides. 

These memories live inside my sister and I. They are only ours and for that we are so lucky. Although Burton Morgan is right, I can't physically go back home again, it's okay. Those memories are still inside of me. They're imprinted on me and have helped turn me into the woman that I am today. Time has moved on and so have I but I'll never forget the home I was so blessed to grow up in and the love I was lucky enough to be surrounded by. 

It's easy to look back on life with rose-colored glasses and nostalgia and see only the positive things. Nobody's childhood is perfect but I promise you that regardless, mine was nothing short of magical. 

- Chelsea 

The Throwback Tag

1. What year were you born in?
-1993

2. Do you have any pictures of yourself from when you were younger? If you do, show them.

Kelly and I on a trip to Tennessee! 

3. What TV shows did you grow up watching?
-Rugrats, Hey Arnold, Boy Meets World, Lizzie McGuire, That's So Raven, Braceface, The Proud Family, Phil of the Future, Kim Possible

4. What did you want to be when you grow up and do you still want to be that?
-I wanted to be a writer and yes, I still do.

5. What were your favorite toys to play with?
-I loved Barbies and Polly Pockets.


6. Three songs you loved to listen to as a child.
Little Bitty by Alan Jackson, Havin' A Party by Rod Stewart and I Can't Wait by Hilary Duff

7. What was one funny thing you dressed up as for Halloween when you were younger?
I was a Disney princess almost every year and when I wasn't, I was pretty common things like pirates and witches. So, I really wasn't anything "funny".

8. Tell a funny story of something you remember happening when you were young.
I carpooled with a friend of mine in kindergarten and he couldn't pronounce the word "leaves." But whenever he saw a tree that didn't have any leaves on it, he'd get super excited and shout, "Tree with no weaves! Tree with no weaves!" Every time he would say it, I would bust out laughing. To this day, I can't see a leafless tree without smiling.

9. Are there any special things you've kept from when you were a child?
I've kept all of the crafts that I've made and all of my stuff from my Girl Scout troop.

10. What was something weird you used to do as a child?
I think it's weird that I had a Southern accent when I didn't live in the South.

11. What's the scariest thing you remember that happened to you when you were younger?
I remember panicking when all of a sudden my sister stopped breathing and I saw her taken away in an ambulance. Thank goodness she was okay.

12. How is the world now different from how it was like when you were a child?
Nothing is dramatically different. I just have more responsibilities. 

Blog Challenge, Day 12: What I Miss

Basically, as you can probably tell, the prompt for this challenge is to talk about something that you miss. I was going to write about my husband because I miss him more and more each day. However, I have written about him in many of my past blogs, so I figured that you guys would be a bit tired of reading about that by now. So, I have decided not to write about a person, but rather a time that I miss.

I'm a really silly, fun, young and energetic person. I proudly proclaim to the world that I'm a "Disnerd", I dance in public for strangers to watch and I say whatever crazy phrases just pop into my head. I personally believe that growing up is overrated and life is too short not to have fun every single day of your life. However, after you turn a certain age, I'd say about 13 years old, it seems as if it is socially unacceptable to be silly anymore.

Let me explain. This is not to say that when you are 14 years old, that you can't have any fun. It just seems to be about that age when people start judging you for it. "Aren't you a little old for that?" and "You still play with those things?" become phrases that we hear all of the time and we start to feel as if we should change our behavior to fit the molds of society as we begin to grow up and that's where I have a problem.

I miss the time when I could say whatever silly thing that I wanted, be crazy and fun, say that I love Disney and just be myself without anyone acting as if it was strange. When you're 4 years old and you ask your best friend if they want to watch The Little Mermaid with you, it's not strange; in fact, it's normal. However, when I, a 20-year-old married woman, ask my best friend to watch that movie, she looks at me if I have three heads.

I am going to be myself no matter what. I always have been but every day, I see myself coming more and more out of my shell and becoming more proud of who I am. However, it isn't as easy or socially acceptable for me to be that person anymore and I wish that it was. So, other than missing my husband, that's what I miss, a simpler time, when I could be myself without judgement and imagination was my only limitation.