The Love Yourself Project

There is no doubt that body image issues are running rampant all over the world. The pressure to fit into that size zero pair of jeans or be wrinkle-free only seems to get worse with time. It seems like natural beauty just isn´t good enough anymore or that it´s a thing of the past and that´s pretty sad.

Part of the beauty of going through life is the changes that people experience and that includes things like changing body sizes and getting wrinkles. I have actually always prided myself on being someone that appreciated the beauty of a clean face or imperfect body. I rarely ever wear make-up, I refuse to pay full price for clothing (no matter how sexy it will make me look or who designed it) and I believe in the process of aging gracefully.

See, my theory is that, essentially, we are all the same. That means that we all came into this world the same way (as babies, of course) and we are all leaving the same way (as bones and dust). We are all equal and it doesn´t matter if your younger sister is the skinny one or you struggle with acne everyday. You are beautiful and you need to remember that. 

Remember when I said that life would be boring if we all knew everything that was going to happen? Well, basically the same theory applies for this topic as well. Life would be boring if we all looked the same as everyone else. People strive to look like the models on magazines covers and help spread the idea that only one type of beauty is acceptable and it´s quite sick. The beauty industry spends millions of dollars every year trying to tell us what is beautiful and it´s basically brainwashing. ¨If you´re not a size 0, then you´re fat,¨ or ¨If you are starting to wrinkle at 30, your face needs fixing.¨ It´s disgusting, untrue and unfortunately, popular.

No matter how many people know the root goal of these magazines is to trick you into buying what they want you to buy or look the way that they want you to look, people buy into them. The consequence immediately becomes them stressing to be someone that they are not or self-loathing. The sad part is that it doesn´t only affect older people, it affects the younger generation, too. Too many girls become obsessed with wanting to be models when they grow up. In my opinion, careers where they put their minds to better use should be more glorified. How about we put doctors, engineers and lawyers on those magazines and see how well they sell? The sad thing is, they probably won´t sell nearly as well.

So let´s say that you´re a thirty-something year old woman with 3 kids, gray hair and a few wrinkles. Let´s say that you look in the mirror every day and wish that you were that twenty-something year old with beautiful blonde hair and a size 4 waist. Right there is your problem. You need to look at the beautiful person that you have become and love that person for who they are. Yearning for something that you feel that you can´t have or have again is completely unhealthy. Learn to love the woman that everyone else in your life loves just the way that she is. So what if you can´t lose your baby weight like some celebrity did in 3 weeks? Who cares? You don´t regret having children and that baby weight is a constant reminder of the beautiful life and miracle that you brought into the world. The same idea applies for the other bodily issues stated above. Embrace it. Own it. Love it. 

Easier said that done, I know. You have to train your brain to believe and think what you want it to. It´s tough but it´s possible. You can trust me. If you take me for example, I´m not overweight. I´m actually a size 3, in case you were wondering. But even though I am very pleased with my body weight, I have issues too. I suffer from a large amount of acne on my face quite frequently, most pairs of jeans don´t fit me because I have a big butt, and my eyebrows are bushy. Truly, I could go on and on. But the difference is that now when
I look into the mirror every day and see a beautiful, strong, confident person. 

Now, if you want to feel that way, I have a theory that may be able to help you out. It´s a little thing that I like to call ¨The Love Yourself Project¨ or ¨The Sticky Note Project.¨ You can pick your preference. When I was in middle school, my drama teacher, Mr. Dow (R.I.P) said that ¨repetition is the key to retention.¨ So one day that got me thinking. Basically, it means that if you read or say the same thing over and over, you´ll start to believe it. That statement inspired me to start this project.

It´s a very simple, yet very effective idea. I filled out multiple sticky notes with different sayings, quotes  and affirmations that made me feel good about myself or inspired me. Then I stuck them to my bedroom mirror, a place that I knew that I would look at every day. So every day, I see them and read them to myself. Eventually, I started to believe them and now I have no doubts. 

So if you are looking for something to help get you started, you could say something like, ¨You are beautiful,¨ ¨You are worth it,¨ or ¨I love myself.¨ These are just a few simple examples to help get you started. They can say whatever positive message that you would like, as long as they make you feel better. Now you may not think that this is an effective process but I can attest to its success with me and you´ll never know if you don´t try.

By no means am I saying that sticky notes will solve every single problem in your life but they will help you to feel more confident. Confidence is attractive in people and therefore, is sexy. Beauty is not something narrow that can only be obtained by certain people. In fact, it´s just the opposite. It is in every person but it´s mostly about loving yourself and how you carry yourself/present yourself to the world. 

Everyone is different and therefore, everyone is beautiful. Not everyone may appreciate just how beautiful, wonderful or special that you are but that is their problem, not yours. Remember that. Put the power back into your hands and take it out of the beauty industry. Also, remember that nobody is better than you are because deep down we are all the same. They might not see it that way but hey... sounds like life to me.

Happy Thoughts Notebook

                                  Meeting with the University of Miami Neurology Department! 

As I mentioned in my first blog, a year ago I was in the hospital for an untreatable condition. I went through every test that the doctors could think of before they officially diagnosed me. The tests ended up taking a ton of time and I even had to be transferred to another hospital for more tests. I was in the hospital for 10 days straight and was in an excruciating amount of pain. Those ten days were, without a doubt, the worst days of my life.

However, my mother was determined to make sure that I saw the positive side, no matter what. (She's the glass half-full type.) I didn't want to spend those days wallowing in misery or focusing on the negatives either, so I decided to give my mother's idea a shot. She took my notebook from out of her bag, grabbed a pen and started a process that we still do to this day. 

She asked me to write down three good things that happened to me that day. Now during that time at the hospital, not much good did happen to me. However, there were small, good things that made all the difference. Whether it was my dad sneaking me food from Outback because I didn't like the hospital food or my fiance showing how much he loved me by crying as he held my hand, good things were still happening. There was still good to be seen in my situation, even though I couldn't see it in the beginning. 

So I took my notebook and wrote down my three things. She also wrote down her own and we shared them together. Most of the time our three things ended up being the same which always made us giggle and smile. It brought us closer together and really helped me through a dark time because I was starting to have the symptoms of Depression. 

Now that notebook may not seem powerful but it was my secret weapon. If I could see the good in life while experiencing the worst time in my life, then life wasn't so bad. Yes, I was in pain but I still had everything that I needed: my family (extended and immediate), my fiance and the strength to carry on.

My mother and I loved doing the "Happy Thoughts Notebook" so much that we decided that we would continue it, in a way. Every night while we're eating dinner with my sister at the table, we each share at least one good thing that happened to us that day. It really keeps us close because we can laugh and smile together every single day and feel joy for each other.

 It's easier now that I'm out of the hospital but I still feel that it's a very effective outlet and exercise. I recommend to to everyone because it has brought us nothing but joy and no matter how bad your day was, I guarantee that one good thing has come out of it. So while I would love to say that I'm a positive person because it was my own choice, I have to thank my mother for it. Without her love, support and bright personality, I would not be the same, happy-go-lucky, positive person that I have grown to be. I love and owe her for that.

Sometimes good or positive things are disguised and harder to find, as was my case in the hospital. However, sometimes you have to look a little harder to find the light in the darkness but hey... sounds like life to me.