Be the Change

When I was in high school, I majored in Communications Arts and took writing classes with Mr. Moore. To say that he influenced my writing and changed my life is an understatement. But lately, I haven't been able to get something else about him out of my head. I heard him say this expression many times over my four years of high school, "Be the change you want to see in the world".

We live in a world so full of negativity, disrespect, disloyalty, selfishness and entitlement. Often times, I wonder how we let it get so bad. We're often more surprised when someone has our back than when someone stabs us in the back. And that is such a sad statement for me to make.

So how do we change it? We certainly can't change how everyone else lives but we can change ourselves for the better. We can change how we live our lives. If you think that there are too many liars in the world, be honest. If you think people are too angry or negative, be a positive influence. If you think people are selfish and unhelpful, be generous and helpful. Don't let yourself be pulled into someone else's negativity or toxicity. Negativity is contagious but positivity can be just as contagious, if you let it.

There are small ways that I try to avoid negativity in my everyday life. For example, I do not post anything negative or political on any of my social media outlets. I try to give people compliments whenever I can. I always try to offer people help, whether they have the courage to ask for it themselves or not. Or I answer phone calls from crying friends at 3 a.m. These things seem so small but trust me, they add up; and they allow everyone else to see your good example and follow it. And recently, I've started really focusing on self-love. So many of my friends struggle with this and I admit that I do myself. It's a daily struggle that I'm working on and I'm finding it easier every day. And what I want more than anything is for nobody else to ever think that they aren't good enough. So I'm hoping that by sharing my journey of discovering self-love, that message will spread, allowing more and more people to truly love themselves for who they are. The world definitely needs more of that.

So what I'm trying to say is that if everyone stopped focusing on the negatives, about anything, whether it's about themselves or the world, the world would be a much better place. Yes, the world isn't perfect and bad things happen every day. I'm not saying that we should ignore that. What I'm saying is to make sure that you are working just as hard to make sure that good things are happening every day as well, whether it's in your life, your friend's life or a complete stranger's life. One of the best pieces of advice that I've ever been given is, "Don't play the victim". If there is something that you can do to make your life better, then you have a responsibility to yourself to do it. So if you think something needs to change, whether it's a personal problem or a global problem, you have the power to make that change. The world isn't going to sit back and wait for you, and you shouldn't either. You deserve the chance to be happy and to make others happy as well. So the time to claim your power is now.

I know that it can be much easier to be a negative person or to believe all of the bad things about the world. But trust me, you don't have to just sit back, watch it happen and accept it. The truth is that there is still kindness and positivity all around you; you just have to look for it. And you know where you can find it? In yourself. It creates a kind of domino effect, like paying it forward. When other people are making you lose faith in humanity or the world today, be different and show the world what it could be. Be a good role model for someone else. Be optimistic. Be inspirational. Be kind. Be encouraging. Be helpful. Be generous. Be brave. Be honest. Be positive. Be the change.

-Chelsea

Positives of 2016

For many people, 2016 was generally a bad year. I'll admit that there were parts of it that were less than perfect for me as well. But I've realized that there is a lot of negativity in the world and I want my own little slice of the internet to be a positive one. So, I've decided to look back on 2016 and share some of the positive things that have happened to me.

I discovered competitive pole dancing and fell absolutely in love with it. I've found a great way to stay in shape and made some really amazing friends as well.

Kris and I went white water rafting for the first time. We went on a trip with some friends and had so much fun! We will definitely be going again.

I participated in my first 5k, which was a color run. This was something that I've always wanted to do and I'm glad that I finally got the chance to do it.

Kris and I did a lot of hiking and discovered many beautiful waterfalls near our hometown. We got to see just how mesmerizing the north country truly is!

We discovered Clayton and fell in love with it as well. It is definitely one of our new favorite places!

I traveled to Connecticut for the first time and participated in my first pole dancing competition with a bunch of my friends.

We couldn't go home for Thanksgiving, so we celebrated with some friends! We spent the night eating good food, laughing and watching football. I even learned how to play poker, which is something that I've always wanted to learn!

I've always been a huge Rodgers and Hammerstein's fan and their version of Cinderella has always been a favorite of mine. I finally got to see it live and bought tickets for my family members as Christmas presents. It was one of the most visually stunning performances that I've ever seen and I loved every second of it!

I got to go back to Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party! I used to go a lot when I was little but I haven't had the chance to go back since I moved away. It felt so nostalgic to get to experience it again!

As a Christmas present for us, my mom paid for Kris and I to get portraits done. We took a whole bunch of beautiful photos and I absolutely love how they turned out. I absolutely can't wait to get the prints back!

What positive things happened to you in 2016?

-Chelsea

No More Pity Parties

I'm always preaching about living a positive lifestyle but I'm going to be honest, sometimes it's easier said than done. I really do try my best every day to see the silver lining in every situation but unfortunately, sometimes I find myself a guest at my own pity party.

But yesterday as I was sending a goodnight text to my husband, he sent me the most beautiful, romantic message that just absolutely made my heart soar. It really snapped me back to reality. The pity party was officially over.

No matter what life throws at me, I will always have my wonderful, loving husband that completes me. He can make me smile no matter what and make me feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world; and having him reminds me that I am.

I love you, Kristopher. Thank you for choosing me. I'm forever grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for making me smile when I needed it most; you've always been good at that. I can't wait until you come home from the army and we can spend the rest of our lives making each other happy, face-to-face.

Blog Challenge, Day 23: What School Can't Teach You

I'm actually pretty excited to write this post. Although I will fully attest that school is a good thing and you need to get a good education for yourself, there are many lessons that school cannot and will not teach you. Living life itself is the best lesson that there is.

The only way to really learn something is through trial and error. You can't learn how to live your life and be successful through a textbook. You can definitely learn about the Civil War, geometry or anatomy through a textbook but chances are, a year after you take that class, you won't remember half of it. That's just how it is.

I have learned tons of different things since my high school graduation 2 years ago but this blog post would go on forever if I mentioned them all, so I will pick one thing to focus on. Hmmmm, what to choose? Well, since this blog is centered on positivity, I will go with that. :)

I started living my life with a positive outlook after my accident turned my world upside down and I thought that my life was over. However, through the help of my mother, I realized that even though I was going through the hardest time in my life, good things were still happening to me and if I focused on them, (or at least acknowledged them) and it didn't seem so bad.

Teachers are amazing people and they provide you with wonderful facts about where we came from and how to do certain things, like projects. However, there are such limits as to what they can teach you about life, at least where I'm from. Nowadays, it seems like all schools care about are test scores and not about what is going to help the students get farther along in life. School taught me how to be successful in my classes, not in life. School didn't teach me how to pick myself up again after I fall, to see the world differently, to be different, to express myself or to see the glass half-full. Life taught me that and some of it, I actually taught myself.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to talk trash about schools or getting educated. What I'm saying is that school teaches you a lot but it doesn't teach you everything that you need to know. Had I known about how to live a positive lifestyle, I might not have gone through depression, which would've saved me months of my life. I'm not blaming school for my problems, I'm just saying that that lesson would've proved helpful for me and I'm sure many other kids. Either way, I learned a lot in school and a lot through living my life and no matter what, I'm happy that I learned everything that I know now.

Blog Challenge, Day 21: Your Favorite Posts

So today's challenge is super easy. I just have to provide links to my favorite posts so far. Done. So, if you haven't read any of them, check them out!

1. The Love Yourself Project

2. "If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you?"

3. Positivity

4. Introverts Are Awesome

The Love Yourself Project

There is no doubt that body image issues are running rampant all over the world. The pressure to fit into that size zero pair of jeans or be wrinkle-free only seems to get worse with time. It seems like natural beauty just isn´t good enough anymore or that it´s a thing of the past and that´s pretty sad.

Part of the beauty of going through life is the changes that people experience and that includes things like changing body sizes and getting wrinkles. I have actually always prided myself on being someone that appreciated the beauty of a clean face or imperfect body. I rarely ever wear make-up, I refuse to pay full price for clothing (no matter how sexy it will make me look or who designed it) and I believe in the process of aging gracefully.

See, my theory is that, essentially, we are all the same. That means that we all came into this world the same way (as babies, of course) and we are all leaving the same way (as bones and dust). We are all equal and it doesn´t matter if your younger sister is the skinny one or you struggle with acne everyday. You are beautiful and you need to remember that. 

Remember when I said that life would be boring if we all knew everything that was going to happen? Well, basically the same theory applies for this topic as well. Life would be boring if we all looked the same as everyone else. People strive to look like the models on magazines covers and help spread the idea that only one type of beauty is acceptable and it´s quite sick. The beauty industry spends millions of dollars every year trying to tell us what is beautiful and it´s basically brainwashing. ¨If you´re not a size 0, then you´re fat,¨ or ¨If you are starting to wrinkle at 30, your face needs fixing.¨ It´s disgusting, untrue and unfortunately, popular.

No matter how many people know the root goal of these magazines is to trick you into buying what they want you to buy or look the way that they want you to look, people buy into them. The consequence immediately becomes them stressing to be someone that they are not or self-loathing. The sad part is that it doesn´t only affect older people, it affects the younger generation, too. Too many girls become obsessed with wanting to be models when they grow up. In my opinion, careers where they put their minds to better use should be more glorified. How about we put doctors, engineers and lawyers on those magazines and see how well they sell? The sad thing is, they probably won´t sell nearly as well.

So let´s say that you´re a thirty-something year old woman with 3 kids, gray hair and a few wrinkles. Let´s say that you look in the mirror every day and wish that you were that twenty-something year old with beautiful blonde hair and a size 4 waist. Right there is your problem. You need to look at the beautiful person that you have become and love that person for who they are. Yearning for something that you feel that you can´t have or have again is completely unhealthy. Learn to love the woman that everyone else in your life loves just the way that she is. So what if you can´t lose your baby weight like some celebrity did in 3 weeks? Who cares? You don´t regret having children and that baby weight is a constant reminder of the beautiful life and miracle that you brought into the world. The same idea applies for the other bodily issues stated above. Embrace it. Own it. Love it. 

Easier said that done, I know. You have to train your brain to believe and think what you want it to. It´s tough but it´s possible. You can trust me. If you take me for example, I´m not overweight. I´m actually a size 3, in case you were wondering. But even though I am very pleased with my body weight, I have issues too. I suffer from a large amount of acne on my face quite frequently, most pairs of jeans don´t fit me because I have a big butt, and my eyebrows are bushy. Truly, I could go on and on. But the difference is that now when
I look into the mirror every day and see a beautiful, strong, confident person. 

Now, if you want to feel that way, I have a theory that may be able to help you out. It´s a little thing that I like to call ¨The Love Yourself Project¨ or ¨The Sticky Note Project.¨ You can pick your preference. When I was in middle school, my drama teacher, Mr. Dow (R.I.P) said that ¨repetition is the key to retention.¨ So one day that got me thinking. Basically, it means that if you read or say the same thing over and over, you´ll start to believe it. That statement inspired me to start this project.

It´s a very simple, yet very effective idea. I filled out multiple sticky notes with different sayings, quotes  and affirmations that made me feel good about myself or inspired me. Then I stuck them to my bedroom mirror, a place that I knew that I would look at every day. So every day, I see them and read them to myself. Eventually, I started to believe them and now I have no doubts. 

So if you are looking for something to help get you started, you could say something like, ¨You are beautiful,¨ ¨You are worth it,¨ or ¨I love myself.¨ These are just a few simple examples to help get you started. They can say whatever positive message that you would like, as long as they make you feel better. Now you may not think that this is an effective process but I can attest to its success with me and you´ll never know if you don´t try.

By no means am I saying that sticky notes will solve every single problem in your life but they will help you to feel more confident. Confidence is attractive in people and therefore, is sexy. Beauty is not something narrow that can only be obtained by certain people. In fact, it´s just the opposite. It is in every person but it´s mostly about loving yourself and how you carry yourself/present yourself to the world. 

Everyone is different and therefore, everyone is beautiful. Not everyone may appreciate just how beautiful, wonderful or special that you are but that is their problem, not yours. Remember that. Put the power back into your hands and take it out of the beauty industry. Also, remember that nobody is better than you are because deep down we are all the same. They might not see it that way but hey... sounds like life to me.

Happy Thoughts Notebook

                                  Meeting with the University of Miami Neurology Department! 

As I mentioned in my first blog, a year ago I was in the hospital for an untreatable condition. I went through every test that the doctors could think of before they officially diagnosed me. The tests ended up taking a ton of time and I even had to be transferred to another hospital for more tests. I was in the hospital for 10 days straight and was in an excruciating amount of pain. Those ten days were, without a doubt, the worst days of my life.

However, my mother was determined to make sure that I saw the positive side, no matter what. (She's the glass half-full type.) I didn't want to spend those days wallowing in misery or focusing on the negatives either, so I decided to give my mother's idea a shot. She took my notebook from out of her bag, grabbed a pen and started a process that we still do to this day. 

She asked me to write down three good things that happened to me that day. Now during that time at the hospital, not much good did happen to me. However, there were small, good things that made all the difference. Whether it was my dad sneaking me food from Outback because I didn't like the hospital food or my fiance showing how much he loved me by crying as he held my hand, good things were still happening. There was still good to be seen in my situation, even though I couldn't see it in the beginning. 

So I took my notebook and wrote down my three things. She also wrote down her own and we shared them together. Most of the time our three things ended up being the same which always made us giggle and smile. It brought us closer together and really helped me through a dark time because I was starting to have the symptoms of Depression. 

Now that notebook may not seem powerful but it was my secret weapon. If I could see the good in life while experiencing the worst time in my life, then life wasn't so bad. Yes, I was in pain but I still had everything that I needed: my family (extended and immediate), my fiance and the strength to carry on.

My mother and I loved doing the "Happy Thoughts Notebook" so much that we decided that we would continue it, in a way. Every night while we're eating dinner with my sister at the table, we each share at least one good thing that happened to us that day. It really keeps us close because we can laugh and smile together every single day and feel joy for each other.

 It's easier now that I'm out of the hospital but I still feel that it's a very effective outlet and exercise. I recommend to to everyone because it has brought us nothing but joy and no matter how bad your day was, I guarantee that one good thing has come out of it. So while I would love to say that I'm a positive person because it was my own choice, I have to thank my mother for it. Without her love, support and bright personality, I would not be the same, happy-go-lucky, positive person that I have grown to be. I love and owe her for that.

Sometimes good or positive things are disguised and harder to find, as was my case in the hospital. However, sometimes you have to look a little harder to find the light in the darkness but hey... sounds like life to me.

Positivity

If there are 2 things that people know about life, it's that 1. It's short and 2. It's tough. 

                                                           Life is too short, so be silly. :)

Things don't always go the way that people want it to or expect it to. Sometimes it gets really hard and sometimes that's the most beautiful thing about it. Life would be boring if we all knew everything that was going to happen and sometimes, what seems to be the worst thing in life, turns out to be a blessing in disguise. 

Take me for example: About a year ago, I had tons of doctors telling me that my life was basically over and I would be confined to a bed for the rest of my life. They told me that I would be dependent upon my parents and fiance, that I could never have kids and that my hopes and dreams were never going to happen. 

Now, that's a lot of information for someone to take in. However, it's a completely different thing to try to prove them wrong. And that's exactly what I'm doing. A year later, you wouldn't even know that anything was ever wrong with me, that I was ever sick. I have overcome so much and am no longer confined to the four walls of my apartment. 

I have learned that nobody, not even teams of doctors can tell you how your life is going to turn out. But they can give you options. Option 1: Listen to them and not even try to get your life back. Or, Option 2: Realize that you're only 19 years old and you've got a heck of a life to fight for.

 Now if anything is going to teach you to appreciate life, it's feeling as if it's over. One thing I learned from this experience (which is still very tough to deal with but is getting better everyday) is that life can change direction in a blink of an eye and you shouldn't take one second of it for granted. Every second that you spend watching re-runs of Friends on the couch at 2 o'clock in the afternoon is a second of your life that you traded for something else. I'm not saying that anything is wrong with watching some TV and vegging out on the couch but it's not something that I recommend on a daily basis.

 Speaking as someone that battled months of clinical depression and never left the couch that whole time, I would much rather be spending my time elsewhere. This process, even though it's been painful, tough and at times, torturous, has opened my eyes to what life is truly about. It has taught me how to be a better person and I will work for the rest of my life to stay the kind and understanding person that I have learned to be through my medical journey.

 I have been given a second chance and I'm grateful for that because not everyone gets a second chance in life. I appreciate every second of my life on this earth. I have the freedom to swim, to skydive, to rock climb, to para-sail should I wish it. Despite what all of the experts said, my life is far from over and one day when I'm on the New York Times Best Sellers List, they'll know that too. 

Now granted, everyone has problems and some peoples' problems are much bigger than others'. However, not to sound corny but, life is what you make it. The purpose of this blog is to spread my message of positivity to the world. I'm not saying that I never complain about life and that nothing ever gets on my nerves, but negativity is contagious. When people are negative, it's much easier to get sucked into that frame of mind and way of thinking. Positivity takes more work but the benefits are so much bigger and better.

You have one life and you should go out and live it to the best of your ability. Make yourself and the others around you happy but above all, appreciate the life you've been given. As you're taking your next breath, someone else in the world is taking their last. So cherish your life, your family, your experiences and even your struggles because that's what they are... yours. 

Nothing in this world is guaranteed except uncertainty. And when life throws you a curve-ball, just adjust your bat a little bit but still imagine yourself hitting that home run. Everyone has joys and everyone has sorrows but hey... it sounds like life to me.