14-year-old Novelist

14-year-old me

So I'm in the process of writing my second novel, or trying to, anyway. When I wrote my first novel, it was a complete accident. I was in a creative writing class and my teacher gave us guidelines with which to write a short story.

 I fell so in love with my characters that I felt that the story had to be told. The only problem was that shortly after I started writing it, the story was no longer mine. During the process of writing our stories, all of the students had to share their progress with the class at planned intervals. Then the class would give constructive criticism and offer new ideas. My class liked the general idea of my story but thought that some ideas needed to be tweaked.

This wasn't easy for me to deal with because I felt that their ideas changed the entire plotline of the story. However, I thought that since there was such a general consensus among the class and my teacher, that maybe I was the one that was wrong and my story needed tweaking. I felt that they believed that I wasn't a good writer and as someone that wasn't popular or confident, that hurt pretty badly. So I changed the parts that my class said needed to be altered and I absolutely hated my story. I hated every little piece of it but I trudged through it anyway.

When I turned in the story, it was not a story that I was particularly proud of and I received a B-, which I felt was extremely fair, considering my lack of enthusiasm for the story. However, I knew that I could really do something with this story and these characters had to be shared with the world. So, I continued writing it at home but still kept my classmates' suggestions.

 However, after numerous re-writes, I realized that I didn't need anybody to tell me how to write my story. So, I wrote it the way that I wanted to write it and absolutely fell in love with it all over again. I made more necessary changes that made sure that I stayed true to what I really wanted for myself and for my characters.

I started that project when I was a freshman in high school and I finished it five years later, after many long days sleepless nights caused by writers block. Even when I took breaks from writing, the story was always on my mind. I sent my story to one close friend who sent me back edits and positive feedback. I really started to believe that I could do this.

Being an author is something that I had always wanted to do but I never knew that I would be pursuing this dream at such a young age. But still, I had the drive, the initiative and the passion to make it happen. So on July 28th 2012, I finished my novel at 12:15 a.m.

I was always someone that wanted other people to read and love my stuff but had a confidence issue. No matter how good I thought that my writing was, I was always afraid of rejection and people hating my writing. It was always a roadblock for me, being a writer. So it took a lot for me to give my writing to my fiance and my parents.

After receiving a lot of positive feedback and constructive criticism from them, I made some necessary edits and sent it out to agents. That was the most nerve-wracking experience of my life and it took all of my courage to hit the send button for all of those e-mails. However, I am still in the process of trying to find an agent. My story is pretty controversial, so it's difficult to find an agent that's willing to take a chance on a 20-year-old woman with a controversial story and no credentials other than a high school diploma.

I am still very confident in how amazing that I believe that my story is but I am not someone that can sit idle and do nothing. So, I have tons of other stories that I want to write and I think I have settled on which one I'm going to write first. However, I think that my first novel's story might not be done yet and I'll probably write a sequel to it in the near future as well.

So it's a toss-up right now. But it's so weird starting the planning process over again because it's been so long since I've had to do that. I honestly feel like I'm cheating on my first novel sometimes. But I can't tell you guys how much joy writing brings to me. Even if I never get published, nothing can take the joy away from taking the thoughts and stories from inside my head and making them come alive on a piece of paper or a computer screen. I am able to communicate in ways that some people can only dream of and I cherish that gift with every fiber of my being.

That is what this blog means to me. It means that I can write whatever I want and express myself to my greatest ability, while having more fun than anyone will ever know. In my opinion, being published doesn't make you a writer, although it's what most writers strive for. Being a writer is being someone that is brave enough to say what they're feeling and thinking, without giving a darn about what anyone else says about it. They write from the heart and are able to truly move people or get people to think about things in a way that they never thought before.

So thank you all so much for reading this and my previous posts. Writers want an audience and it means the world to me for people to take time out of their busy lives and pay attention to what I have to say. Truly, if nobody every publishes my work, yes, it will be awful but at least I will have the people that have chosen to read my blog and have faith in me.

I am such a dreamer and I am a firm believer in Walt Disney's iconic quote, "If you can dream it, you can do it." I truly believe with all of my heart that my blogs won't be the only thing that people read of mine. I will be a published novelist and you all can say that you knew me before my success. But if that doesn't happen, it will be awful but I'll always have this and... it sounds like life to me.