Be the Change

When I was in high school, I majored in Communications Arts and took writing classes with Mr. Moore. To say that he influenced my writing and changed my life is an understatement. But lately, I haven't been able to get something else about him out of my head. I heard him say this expression many times over my four years of high school, "Be the change you want to see in the world".

We live in a world so full of negativity, disrespect, disloyalty, selfishness and entitlement. Often times, I wonder how we let it get so bad. We're often more surprised when someone has our back than when someone stabs us in the back. And that is such a sad statement for me to make.

So how do we change it? We certainly can't change how everyone else lives but we can change ourselves for the better. We can change how we live our lives. If you think that there are too many liars in the world, be honest. If you think people are too angry or negative, be a positive influence. If you think people are selfish and unhelpful, be generous and helpful. Don't let yourself be pulled into someone else's negativity or toxicity. Negativity is contagious but positivity can be just as contagious, if you let it.

There are small ways that I try to avoid negativity in my everyday life. For example, I do not post anything negative or political on any of my social media outlets. I try to give people compliments whenever I can. I always try to offer people help, whether they have the courage to ask for it themselves or not. Or I answer phone calls from crying friends at 3 a.m. These things seem so small but trust me, they add up; and they allow everyone else to see your good example and follow it. And recently, I've started really focusing on self-love. So many of my friends struggle with this and I admit that I do myself. It's a daily struggle that I'm working on and I'm finding it easier every day. And what I want more than anything is for nobody else to ever think that they aren't good enough. So I'm hoping that by sharing my journey of discovering self-love, that message will spread, allowing more and more people to truly love themselves for who they are. The world definitely needs more of that.

So what I'm trying to say is that if everyone stopped focusing on the negatives, about anything, whether it's about themselves or the world, the world would be a much better place. Yes, the world isn't perfect and bad things happen every day. I'm not saying that we should ignore that. What I'm saying is to make sure that you are working just as hard to make sure that good things are happening every day as well, whether it's in your life, your friend's life or a complete stranger's life. One of the best pieces of advice that I've ever been given is, "Don't play the victim". If there is something that you can do to make your life better, then you have a responsibility to yourself to do it. So if you think something needs to change, whether it's a personal problem or a global problem, you have the power to make that change. The world isn't going to sit back and wait for you, and you shouldn't either. You deserve the chance to be happy and to make others happy as well. So the time to claim your power is now.

I know that it can be much easier to be a negative person or to believe all of the bad things about the world. But trust me, you don't have to just sit back, watch it happen and accept it. The truth is that there is still kindness and positivity all around you; you just have to look for it. And you know where you can find it? In yourself. It creates a kind of domino effect, like paying it forward. When other people are making you lose faith in humanity or the world today, be different and show the world what it could be. Be a good role model for someone else. Be optimistic. Be inspirational. Be kind. Be encouraging. Be helpful. Be generous. Be brave. Be honest. Be positive. Be the change.

-Chelsea

Thoughts on the Gilmore Girls Revival

As an avid fan of Gilmore Girls, I know that I'm a little late to this party. I watched the revival about a week ago with my mom, who also loved the show. There were a few things that made me unhappy about the way that the original Gilmore Girls ended, so when I found out that a revival was happening, I was excited because I thought that I'd finally get the ending that I wanted.

As of right now, I have mixed feelings about it. So, without further adieu, here are my thoughts, both positive and negative. (If you haven't watched the series yet, I advise you not to read this because... well, spoilers.)

1. I wish that Sookie was in the show more. I understand why she wasn't but I just missed her character so much. It wasn't the same watching Lorelai go through her daily life without her best friend.

2. Luke is still my favorite character in the show. Although it made me sad that he and Lorelai weren't married at the start of the show, it did make me happy that we got to see their wedding in the final episode.

3. I felt so sorry for Emily's character because of Richard's death but I loved that by the final episode, she was starting to flourish. I thought that her character grew and that she became a person that she could be proud of. I loved that she went after what she wanted and got rid of anything that made her unhappy, like the DAR.

4. The surrogacy plot for Luke and Lorelai felt a little bit rushed but I did love seeing Paris again.

5. As a writer, I can relate to Rory's struggles to succeed in that type of business. However, I felt that she made some poor choices and that she should have understood her mother's hesitation about her book a bit more.

6. It was wonderful to see Lane again but I wished that her band had more success, enough success to get them out of Stars Hollow and live their dreams.

7. I was disappointed in Rory's moral choices and how she repeated history. She had already been "the other woman" in a relationship before, when she had her affair with Dean. I thought that she'd learned her lesson, so I was extremely upset when I saw that she was having an affair with Logan. That also made me very upset with Logan's character and I never really understood why he didn't leave his fiancé for Rory. Clearly, they wanted to be with each other, so I don't understand why they couldn't make it work. Also, when Lorelai found out about the affair, she didn't seem that disappointed in Rory and I thought she should have been.

8. I loved when Emily and Lorelai made up after Lorelai's trip to California. The story about her and Richard was very sweet.

9. I loved seeing how Jess turned out. I know that he's probably the most popular of Rory's boyfriends but for me, that wasn't the case when I watched the original series. But now that he's older, I really like who he grew up to be. I can definitely see Rory and Jess being meant for each other now.

10. For years I've heard the Gilmore Girls fandom talk about the elusive "last four words". I knew that we were going to get to hear them in this revival and my mind kept spinning, wondering what they could possibly be. To find out that they were Rory telling Lorelai that she was pregnant, I was shocked, to say the least. I have conflicting feelings about this as well. In some ways, I see it as a cliffhanger. In other ways, I think that it's the perfect ending.

That's the gist of my thoughts and opinions. What about you guys? What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with anything that I've said? There are plenty of differing opinions about this subject circling the internet right now. But I have found something that pretty much everyone agrees on: that random musical number was too long and did not serve the plot.

Many people are also wondering if the cliffhanger means that we'll get more episodes. What do you think? And, if the show did get more episodes, would you watch them?

-Chelsea

Positives of 2016

For many people, 2016 was generally a bad year. I'll admit that there were parts of it that were less than perfect for me as well. But I've realized that there is a lot of negativity in the world and I want my own little slice of the internet to be a positive one. So, I've decided to look back on 2016 and share some of the positive things that have happened to me.

I discovered competitive pole dancing and fell absolutely in love with it. I've found a great way to stay in shape and made some really amazing friends as well.

Kris and I went white water rafting for the first time. We went on a trip with some friends and had so much fun! We will definitely be going again.

I participated in my first 5k, which was a color run. This was something that I've always wanted to do and I'm glad that I finally got the chance to do it.

Kris and I did a lot of hiking and discovered many beautiful waterfalls near our hometown. We got to see just how mesmerizing the north country truly is!

We discovered Clayton and fell in love with it as well. It is definitely one of our new favorite places!

I traveled to Connecticut for the first time and participated in my first pole dancing competition with a bunch of my friends.

We couldn't go home for Thanksgiving, so we celebrated with some friends! We spent the night eating good food, laughing and watching football. I even learned how to play poker, which is something that I've always wanted to learn!

I've always been a huge Rodgers and Hammerstein's fan and their version of Cinderella has always been a favorite of mine. I finally got to see it live and bought tickets for my family members as Christmas presents. It was one of the most visually stunning performances that I've ever seen and I loved every second of it!

I got to go back to Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party! I used to go a lot when I was little but I haven't had the chance to go back since I moved away. It felt so nostalgic to get to experience it again!

As a Christmas present for us, my mom paid for Kris and I to get portraits done. We took a whole bunch of beautiful photos and I absolutely love how they turned out. I absolutely can't wait to get the prints back!

What positive things happened to you in 2016?

-Chelsea

Unapologetically Me

When I look back on my life, I realize that I've always apologized for being who I am. But I didn't truly see it until a friend of mine pointed it out to me. We were having a discussion about theatre (which I love dearly) and I realized that as I continued talking, I was getting more and more excited. I started worrying that she'd think I was some kind of geek for getting so excited about a show that I loved and I immediately started apologizing. She looked at me with such sincerity and said, "Chelsea, don't ever apologize for something you love, something that brings you so much happiness." She went on to tell me that one of the main reasons that she liked me was because I was so passionate. She said that she wished more people were like that. And in that moment I realized that I was apologizing for something that someone loved about me. I couldn't believe that something that I saw as a negative aspect of myself was something perceived as positive through another person's eyes. This conversation was a game-changer for me and it drastically changed how I viewed myself. Although this discussion happened months ago, it has stayed with me and has meant more to me than she'll ever know. (Thanks, Erin.)

She got me thinking about all of the times in my life that I've ever been embarrassed by who I was. I've lived my entire life trying not to disappoint people, trying to be the person that I thought that they wanted me to be. I wanted to believe that I wasn't someone that cared about what other people thought of them but if I'm being honest, that just wasn't true. I had the opposite problem. I cared too much. And now I realize just how utterly wrong that is. I can't count the number of times that I've said things like: "I'm sorry that I'm so annoying", "I'm sorry that I'm such a geek", "I'm sorry that I'm so neurotic", "I'm sorry that I'm so shy" or "I'm so sorry that I'm so emotional". It was as if I thought that having flaws made me a bad person or that I should be embarrassed by them. But now, more than ever, I know that isn't true.

I'm done trying to fit into boxes that I think other people want to put me in. I'm done trying to force myself to be someone else or a different version of myself. I'm done stressing myself out over becoming someone that I know I can never be and someone that I never wanted to be in the first place. I'm done with being embarrassed by my flaws. But most of all, I'm done apologizing for being me. From this moment on, I am completely embracing who I am, despite what anyone else thinks or wants of me. I am living for me. I am loving myself for everything I am and everything I'm not, everything that I've been and everything I will be. For my entire life, I've put the happiness of others ahead of my own. I thought that I was happy to do it and that I'd be selfish if I didn't do it. But I realized that I can't make everyone else happy, no matter how hard I try. So from now on, I'm going to focus on me and making myself happy. Hopefully, the rest will follow.

I am done running from who I am or hoping that people will love or like me despite my flaws. Every single little bit of me makes me who I am and I am so many things.

Stubborn. A Disnerd. Proud. Anxious. Neurotic. Silly. Fun. Smart. Confident. Hard-working. Determined. Loyal. Family-oriented. A sister. A wife. A daughter. A friend. A pole dancer. A nanny. Someone who loves corny movies. An athlete. A fan of theatre. A kid at heart. Giving. Nurturing. An over-thinker. Caring. Funny. Passionate. A book lover. A writer. A blogger. Emotional. A planner. Persistent. Critical. Grateful. Positive. Introverted.

In short, I am perfectly imperfect and it's incredibly freeing to know that no matter what, I'm enough.

These words describe just a small part of who I am. Some are good and some are bad. But I've learned to accept all of it because I truly believe that there's nobody else in the world that I'd rather be. I'm lucky. I have a family and a husband that love me, loyal friends that have stuck by my side through good times and bad, hobbies that I love and the opportunity to chase my dreams every single day.

I've learned that I can't control what other people think about me but it doesn't matter. I'm the only person who knows who I am, how I feel and what I've been through. The only thing that matters is what I think of myself. It doesn't matter what anyone's perceptions are of me because one day, if they really look hard enough, they'll see the real me. It took me a long time to realize that I don't need anyone's approval or permission for any aspect of how I want to live my life. But now that I do see that, there is no going back. And no matter what, at the end of the day, I love who I am and I'm proud to be me. I'm proud of who I've been, what I've gone through and who I am today. And I can't wait to see who I grow up to be. But I know that one thing is for sure, that I'll be Chelsea. And you know what? That's more than enough for me.

-Chelsea

We Could Be Best Friends (2)

A long time ago, I wrote a post called We Could Be Best Friends. In that post, I wrote a list of qualities that I have and said that if you share those qualities that we could be, well, best friends. Although everything in that list is still true, I thought that I'd add a few things since it's been so long and I've grown into a different person since then.

We could be best friends if:

• You have a zest for life 
• You're a pole dancer

• You love to watch corny movies
• A good book is the way to your heart
• You love to bake
• You treat your friends like family

• You view life differently than everyone else
• You crave adventure

I hope that this post helped you learn a little bit more about me. So what's the verdict? Could we be best friends?

-Chelsea

Color Run!

I've wanted to do a color run ever since I found out about them and a few weeks ago, I finally did one! It was definitely an interesting experience and I'm so glad that I can finally cross it off of my bucket list! I've never been much of a runner, so doing a 5k isn't something that's normally in my wheelhouse. But this year, I've really tried to focus on doing things that would get me out of my comfort zone. So I decided to give it a try. Now, I'm so glad that I can say that I've completed a color run and I'm extremely proud of myself for participating!

I don't know if I'll ever do another one but who knows? Never say never, right?

-Chelsea

White Water Rafting!

White water rafting has been at the top of my bucket list for quite a while and this past weekend, I finally did it! Kris and I went rafting with our friends Brandon and Ashley and it was an incredible day! We spent about 4 hours on the river. But not only did we white water raft, we swam and jumped off of a cliff and into the water! I jumped off the cliff four times! It was the most fun-filled and exhilarating day of my life! I'm so glad that I finally did it! If you're thinking about trying it, I would highly recommend it!

I'm so glad that I finally got to cross this off of my bucket list!

-Chelsea