My First Crush

2 days ago, I ran into my old best friends' mother. Remember when I said that when I was a child, from the ages of 8-16, that I was best friends with 2 brothers? It was their mother that I ran into.

I hadn't seen her in over a year. Things have been really distant between their family and I after our breakup. Oh, did I not mention that I dated one of the brothers? Oops.

But running into her made me think about all of the good times that we had together and how it all began.

I had my first real crush on one of the boys. Let's call him John. (That's not his name but we'll pretend, okay?) So John and I were in the same class in 3rd grade and I was as close to in love with him that a 3rd grader could be. My best friend at the time used to tease me horrendously about my crush but of course, I had no intention of acting on it. I had never even spoken to him before, despite the dozens of times that my friends had tried to get me to tell him how I felt.

I was only 8 years old. I wasn't nearly ready for any of that kind of stuff.

But one day at lunch, my friends were teasing me about him and another girl (that I didn't like) overheard the conversation. (Let's call her Jane, which is, again, not her real name.) She demanded to know which boy they were talking about and, being the people-pleaser that I am, I reluctantly told her. Of course, she giggled just like everyone else but swore that she wouldn't say anything.

Recess was right before lunch and I saw Jane talking to John in front of the big tree in the field where we played at recess. Jane had never spoken to John before, ever. So I knew what was about to happen. I ran and hid myself behind the tree. Then my suspicions were proven correct when I heard her say the words, "You know that girl, Chelsea? She likes you."

My heart sank. A person's first crush is a big deal and I didn't have a high self-esteem. The last thing I needed was for him to say that he didn't like me back or even worse, that he didn't know who I was. So I did something that was completely out of character for me. I got from behind the tree and yelled at Jane for telling my secret. I was enraged and John just stood there, staring awkwardly at me.

Jane tried to defend herself, saying that she thought that she was helping and that I should thank her. Obviously, I didn't feel the same way. I was infuriated, humiliated and ashamed.

But not long after, I found myself thanking her. We quickly became best friends after that and were inseparable all through elementary school, middle school and the first 2 years of high school. He was my first crush, my first love and the first real, true best friend that I ever had.

Jane might not have been pure in her intentions. I'm sure that she didn't plan on helping to create a strong friendship/romantic relationship between us. But none of that would've happened without her. I was too shy to admit my feelings for him and from Jane, I learned that nothing in life happens if you just sit by and watch it go by. Take risks, live life, tell that person that you like them.

They just might end up liking you back.

We might not have worked out but I'm happy with how my life turned out. But I'll always cherish the memories and the experiences that he and his family gave me. I'll be forever grateful. They helped shape me into the person that I am today.

-Chelsea