I'm Different

Lettin' out my inner Snow White. :)

I've always known this. There's always been a part of me that has been different from everyone else. It used to be something that really bothered me but now, it's something that I embrace with pride. I am who I am and I love myself because of it. I would ask myself things like, "Why am I so different?" and "What's wrong with me?" It took me a long time to realize that it wasn't my fault and I am not as weird as I thought I was.

Let me explain, while most high school and middle school students go to the movies or parties on the weekends, I spent my free time reading library books and watching Disney movies on my couch. It made me happy but it also made me feel really left out because other kids didn't seem to want to hang out with me. I often felt really lonely growing up because I only had 2 really close friends. I loved those 2 friends very much but I felt very limited because when they weren't around, I didn't have anyone else.

So I would put myself down a lot and many nights, I cried myself to sleep. It took me years and a lot of therapy to learn to love myself but eventually, I was able to do it. It was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do. To learn and to accept yourself takes a lot of soul-searching and confronting your own inner demons. After years of not only telling myself how weird and worthless that I was, it was nearly impossible for me to look in the mirror and like what I saw.

But now, I walk with confidence and I show my personality so much more. I wear my silliness, my joy for life and my 100-watt smile without a care in the world. I've never been happier because of it. I had to learn that the only people that I need in life are the people that care about and love me, like my family, my husband and my best friends. I realized that if I really wanted to be friends with and hang out with all of those other people, then I would've found a way to do just that. I wouldn't have spent my nights on my couch with popcorn watching The Little Mermaid. It was in my control just as much as it was in everyone elses'. 

I still only have a few friends and I still spend most of my nights reading library books but I love every second of it. It's just who I am. I am an introvert and I am proud of it. I would much rather be alone and be happy than be off partying somewhere with people that I don't like. Plus, now that I'm married, I know that I'm pretty perfect, even if it's only in one person's eyes. :)

Dr. Seuss has an infamous quote that has transcended time, "Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” That quote rings true, especially in circumstances like the one I have been talking about. I don't regret who I was or how I felt. I had to go through my own journey of self discovery before I learned to appreciate and love who I grew up to be. I admire my uniqueness because so many people today are sheep, people who only do things because everyone else is doing it. Learning that the fact that everyone is different and that's a good thing was extremely eye-opening but I appreciate it all the same because hey... it sounds like life to me.